It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
