it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
