The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
