More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
