no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
