and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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