He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
im holly from the hills drunk
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
