That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
