Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry lauren01 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(207): View more from Maine

I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.

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(480): View more from Arizona

I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows

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(310): View more from California

...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.

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(847): View more from Illinois

another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?

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(303): View more from Colorado

dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"

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(516): View more from New York

The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"

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(210): View more from Texas

I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old

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