He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
