I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
