He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
