ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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