just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
