so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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