That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
