I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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