I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
