So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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