If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
