Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
