I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
