dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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