my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize