do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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