I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
