planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
