Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
