Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
