Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
