Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
