Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
