Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
