at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Randomize
