Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
