Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
