even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
