This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
