We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
