fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
