you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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