just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
North Korea, Best Korea!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
