Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Green mimosas i think yes
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
