I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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