How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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