Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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