yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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