thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
