she kept yelling 'call me bella'
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
