im drinking this country out of the recession.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
