A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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