I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
jump out the window naked night went bad
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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