I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Sorry about my life...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
