Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
