You work out of a Hotel?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
