I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
did you just send me my own nude
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
