idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
