Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
