I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
