I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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