This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize