You're my little dorito
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
