No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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