Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
