This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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