dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
