i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
