i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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