i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize