are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
