Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he thought i was a dude.
Do vagina's smell?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
